Breathe
by videogameandanime-empress
Summary: Ed has truly lost his one and only reason for living, and has nowhere left to turn. He feels as though death is his only escape from his hell on earth, but someone watching over him is there to prove him wrong. EdXRoy Finished.
1. Tears of Pain

**(A/N) I wanted to try something new with this fic. I wanted to be able to capture someones emotions a certain way. I dunno if I'll succeed, but I'll try my best.**

"No...don't. Stop... stop dammit!" Edward yelled, forcing his voice to be as loud as he could make it. "Please..." his throat became hoarse "please...stop."

Envy released a maniacal cackle and place his finger to the blood seal within Al's armor. Edward yanked and pulled at the chains which bound him. The room was filled with the screaming of the two brothers.

"Ed!" Al cried out "Brother, I-" but Alphonse was cut off. Not because someone else had told him to be quiet, but because Envy had scratched it off. He had removed Al's blood seal. Al was gone. He was gone forever and Edward could do nothing about it.

Ed sunk to the ground, shackles still binding him to the wall. His eyes were wide and all expression had been erased from his face. He appeared empty, practically souless.

Envy chuckled and walked out of the room leaving Ed alone in the darkness.

He stared at the lifeless suit of armor wondering how this could have happened. And why did God make Ed suffer like this, again and again.

He managed to push words out of his own mouth, though he was the only one there to here "It doesn't matter ... how I let this happen because ... no matter what I do now ... he's ... gone for good. And there's no way in hell ... that I can bring him back now."

He looked down at his auto-mail arm and leg. "I've already sinned enough for one life time..." the anger within him suddenly began to boil. "Yet Al was the one...HE was the one who always suffered the most!"

He tried to pull away from the chains, thrashing his wrists. He was chained to the wall, hands spread apart so he couldnt preform alchemy, and it was useless to resist, for his efforts were in vain.

"The fullmetal alchemist," he said agressively "a lot of damn good I'm useful for."

Edward stared deeply at the ground. He could see vivid images in his mind, his mother, Nina, ... Al. The memories of pain and sorrow reminded him of his burden.

He cried out it pain. He jerked around yanking the chains roughly, forcing them to make an irratating jingling sound which echoed throughout the dark abyss.

It felt as though his heart was being wrenched away from him, his chest pounded with the torturing feeling as though his soul was being taunted, teased.

He shut his eyes letting the pain slowly sink in. Letting the feeling of guilt overwhelm him. Within seconds he could feel cold moisture dripping down his face.

His tears hastened and splashed to the ground. He tried to hold them back at first, but when he failed he let them flow out.

He didn't care anymore. He didn't fear for his life anymore. Nothing mattered. He would just sit there and rot, he would sit alone and die.

Edward's breathing soon became unsteady. He could feel a great pressure pushing down on his lungs to where he couldn't breathe.

He gasped for air. He suddenly realized the cause of all of this. He had _forgotten_ to breathe. The agony and suffering had overpowered his will to live. He'd become dillusional, making matters worse.

Suddenly he could hear footsteps approaching and the soft sound of someone saying his name.

Ed looked up through the flood of tears covering his sadened eyes, to see whom was speaking to him.

"Edward, I will not let you just lie here and drown withina seaofyour own tears."

**(A/N) Did you like it? I hope so. I know it's pretty short. Anyway I'm not sure whether to continue it and reveal who it was or just leave it off here like that. I bet you're wondering who said that... I'm kinda wondering that too... what! You actually expect me to plan ahead!**


	2. Someone to Live for

**(A/N) Okay... I've made my decision... and I'm not proud of it either... but I for some reason... from deep in my heart... this fanfic had to come out...**

Ed started coughing and straining his eyes in disbelief. "Co-colonel Mustang? Why-...what-"

Roy shushed him and started to remove Edwards wrists from the clutches of the metal.

Ed was still in shock over the whole thing. "But why would...you...?"

Roy finished freeing Ed. "Come on, let's go." He started to walk off. "Move your ass and get going!"

Ed followed Roy uneasily. Ed's injuries felt worse and worse with every single damn step he took.

"Roy I-" Suddenly everything went black.

Soon enough he was dreaming... no he wasn't having dreams... it was nightmares. Everyone he'd ever cared for just died in front of him again and again in his dream. The memories still haunting him.

Ed was now shivering and fidgeting. Roy looked over at the boy lying on the couch "What the-"

"AL!" Ed cried out in his sleep "Al! No! Not again! ALPHONSE!" Ed was now screaming louder than ever, the sound of his voice echoed throughout the building.

Roy walked over to him and shook him. "What's wrong with you?"

Ed opened his eyes which had already began tearing again. "He...he's gone..." Ed was sobbing again "And it's all my fault!"

"Get a hold of yourself!" Roy put his hand over Edwards mouth "You're lucky there's nobody else here, otherwise they would've locked you up by now."

Ed looked around the room. It was dark, shadowy, and eerily empty. Not one person besides Mustang was here. "Where... is everyone?"

"Home, most likely. It's two in the morning." Roy said bluntly.

Edward sighed. He had lost track of time when he'd been in that pit of hell. Not that time really mattered.

Ed suddenly jolted and cringed "Argh!" a bit of blood began dripping from his mouth.

"What the hell happened to you?" the colonel demanded.

"When the homunculi had me imprisoned there.." he coughed lightly "they beat me up a lot, whips, blades, clubs, whatever they had that could cause pain."

Then, Ed saw something he'd never seen before. Roy looked ... concerned. He had a saddened worrying look to him.

"You know," Roy said looking away from Ed shifting his eyes toward the window "it's not really your fault."

"Yes it is!" Ed yelled "It was before, and it is again."

"Stop blaming yourself for everything that goes-"

"I'll do whatever I damn well please!" Ed launched his fist toward Roy's face.

He missed entirely, his pain overpowering his will. Roy grabbed his clenched fist.

"Get a grip FullMetal..." he hissed.

Ed gave him a cold stare. He was ready to scream at the man in front of him, but suddenly stopped as he began crying again.

"What's wrong with me..." he whispered looking down at the ground.

"You need to calm down." Roy commanded him.

"No I don't!" Ed defended himself "I need to die. I have nothing left in this forsaken world. I promised Al I would get his body back. And I failed him."

Ed slowly got up and hobbled across the room. Roy's gaze followed him intently.

"I don't have anything left to live for." Edward opened the window and began to jump.

Roy dashed over to the window and pulled Ed out of it. "Fool! Don't kill yourself! Do you really think Al would want that!"

Ed paused. This thought had never crossed his mind before.

Roy grabbed Ed by the shoulders, looked down at him, and firmly said "Maybe it's time... you found someone else to live for."

**(A/N) I know. I usually make fun of Yaoi and mock it but... I wrote this anyway... -hides under desk- please don't be mad if you don't like the pairing! Just review. Don't hurt me! **


	3. An Indescribable Feeling

**(A/N) Okay this is the last chapter. Sorry if the fic seems rushed.**

"R-roy.." Ed was astonished. "You..." His words faded as he and the colonel embraced.

Ed hugged him back, his face burning with embarasment, yet, somehow it felt right.

Ed clung on to his relief from the pain, his escape. He hoped he would never let go, he hoped this bliss of protection would last on forever. Sadly, he was wrong.

Suddenly an enfuriated Envy came crashing through the door "Damn you Fullmetal, I'll kill you!" And he lunged toward Edward ready to kill him.

Just as Ed was bracing himself to fight back, Mustang stood in front of him and took the blow, and another, and another. The colonel fought back as Ed just stood there shocked not quite fully taking in what had happened.

Suddenly he snapped back. Roy was Ed's someone. No damned doubt about it. He swiftly drew a transmutation circle, he knew what he was doing. He would destroy the homunculis then and there.

As soon as Ed had finished and was preparing to activate it he heard a disparing thud. Roy had fallen. Ed lunged at Envy swiftly punched him in the face and dragged Roy out of the way.

Envy regained himself, but just in time for Ed to kill him.

---

Ed sat in the hospital. Waiting. Watching Roy's chest move up and down, knowing that at any moment... it may stop. Roy was in a coma and it was all Ed's fault.

"First I lose Al..." Ed closed his eyes trying to keep himself from crying in front of the nurse cleaning up Roy's room. "Now I'm about to lose my other reason to live. It's all my fault... that he's in pain."

Ed remembered how when Roy had rescued him how weak he was, yet he found enough strength to defeat Envy, the one who killed Alphonse. And the only reason he even had that strength, was because of the man dying in front of him.

Edward's injuries had been cured by now, but he still had a pain. In his heart.

"I was such an idiot. Not even fighting my own battle. Just sitting there stupidly was all I could do..." his voice began to raise out of a whisper "I'm sorry colonel. It's all my fault, and I realized to late...that you're my reason."

The nurse looked at Ed only to find him with a pocket knife held to his wrist. "Mi-mister Elric!" she exclaimed. But there was nothing she could do. It was too late.

Ed had slashed his wrist down to his arm in a long vertical bloody line. The blood came oozing and gushing out. And there he was again. Lying on the flooring, drowning in his own blood. His own tears. His own shame.

---

Ed woke up to see a very scary, and pissed off, colonel. "M-mustang?" he asked dazily.

"Jackass!" Roy punched the lying down Edward in the gut. "You try and kill yourself again like that and you will SERIOUSLY regret it."

Ed gathered his thoughts, and his breath, as he watched Roy wander around the room agitated.

"And another thing," Roy looked back at him "a hospital isn't exactly the most intelligent place to commit suicide," he paused "fullmetal."

Ed smiled, something he hadn't done in quite awhile. Roy gave him some feeling he just couldn't put his finger on.

"You know something odd..." Roy continued still figeting "...almost the moment you passed out, I woke up from my coma."

Ed was still trying to describe the feeling, he almost had it on the tip of his tongue...

Suddenly Roy got close to his face. "Deep in thought eh? Don't hurt yourself boy." Edward stuck his tongue out at him. "Well fullmetal you've pretty much worn me out."

Ed suddenly realized how weak he was, how his eyelids were drooping. The colonel walked over to his hospital bed, conviniently located next to Edwards, and said "Go to sleep, and don't worry, your someone isn't going to die just yet."

Ed wanted to go to sleep. He knew he desperately needed it. But something... something was holding him back. He was still trying to sort out his damn feelings.

He sat up and looked over at Roy sleeping. For what seemed like hours he just sat there watching the colonel slowly breathe.

Then, out of nowhere, he realized what that feeling was, something he never could have grasped the concept of before. Perhaps it was the bliss of first love.

**(A/N) OHMYGOSH! I just finished writing a YAOI fic... DON'T I HATE YAOI! Well I hope you don't and that you review soon :) **

**See ya later!**


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